Yeah, damn. If I were you I probably would have blown the whole thing off altogether... though I guess the drinks were still kind of a perk.

[ since the FOOD SURE WASN'T ]

Are you just going back to the lounge now?

Eh. I don't like passing up a party. Even if I bow out early.

I dunno. Think I'll wander. You?

[ shrugs. ]

Might go to Chilly's or something for some real food beyond one twentieth of a pizza.

Oh, that's a plan. There really wasn't enough food to go around. Ignoring the soup. As everyone should have.

I know, we grabbed some stuff from the food court but it wasn't the same.

You want to come too?

Mm, sure! While I figure out what else to do with my evening.

Sounds good!

[ off we go then!!! he'll get like, a burger with avocado or something like a hipster and a beer that he definitely does not need, and they can grab a booth.

sighing tiredly as he sits down with his food. ]

Man, how is it Wednesday... I don't even know if I want to say "only Wednesday" or "already Wednesday".

[ how does one week go so slow and so fast at the same time ]

[ yay! she probably also gets a beer but nothing else because she doesn't actually eat very often. sits down as well... ]

It's both. Wednesday exists in superposition.

It really is the weirdest day.

[ takes a bite of his burger, then looks down at it. ]

Wonder if this would still look like bugs to everyone else.

Hard competition with Tuesday though. As far as weirdness goes.

[ looks at the burger as well... ]

Probably? Unless the curse was weirdly specific about being at the party.

Yeah, I have no idea what the exact parameters for the illusion were. I feel like they deeply miscalculated who was going to suffer from it, though.

Really going to miss this immunity when it goes away tomorrow.

God, me too. If I get the pity curse again, I'm gonna to scream.

What is that??

Oh. If you get cursed three times in a week you get to pick from a couple sponsorships about it.

Oh. Huh. I guess it's nice that they at least give you a silver lining when you get hit with too many dark clouds, but damn. How many times has that happened?

Twice. Once early on, then again last week.

Oof. Don't envy your popularity in that respect...

[ well not that the emotions were GOOD, but they do drop down a bit. ]

Popular, huh... I guess you could call it that. [ ... ] Well, I don't mind. Everyone is using each other as free entertainment.

Yeah...

[ a bit of a bitter emotion at that himself because lmao his whole life is literally about being someone else's entertainment.

he takes a drink, pausing for a moment. ]

...How do you feel having people here who knew another version of you?

[ she doesn't think of herself as above being entertainment, and doesn't even think it's wrong to see people that way. she just feels like it kind of sucks to only be entertainment to people who she can't perceive as caring about her as anything else. ]

It's... I don't remember if I've told you this, but I was like—in a timeloop for a long time before I died? [ casual. ] And so I eventually got used to the reset. When everyone forgets you, and every good memory you've made with them, and suddenly you have to pretend not to know all the things you know, because it's only going to make them uncomfortable if you don't.

It's weird being on this side. Not remembering clearly the people who remember me.

It's also annoying, because they all, uh, would really clearly prefer whoever they knew before.

[ the time loop part is new to him, but he just accepts it without any questions. and what she's saying about the experience here... he nods. ]

Yeah. That's a lot like how it is for me too. Rosamund-san and Ichiban apparently thought really highly of the version of me they knew before for... some fucking reason, and it's like—

I don't relate at all to most of the stuff Rosamund-san gets emotional about even though she's clearly expecting me to. And I don't know how the hell Ichiban was ever even friends with me if he doesn't like people who lie and play dirty??

[ takes another sip, frowning. ]

It just sucks knowing you're the shittier version of yourself, and that they're either already disappointed in you or that they will be whenever they actually see you instead of whatever image they have of you in their heads.

I don't think people change. I think that—there are shifts and adjustments within a framework of what a person was always going to be. Different circumstances make different excuses for the same thing.

So either any version of yourself was always going to become as bad as you are now. Or you're capable of becoming better, like what they want you to be.

But you aren't.

[ ... this sounds way meaner than she's trying to be because it's just her projecting her own miserable perspective. so she does think to add: ] That's a—general you. Not you specifically. Me, maybe.

[ shakes his head. it's fine, it can be him specifically; he knows he sucks. ]

I definitely don't change, usually. When I'm home, I never become any better. It's not a time loop like what you were dealing with, but... certain things always sort of reset and aren't allowed to deviate too much in my world.

So it's like... I don't know, I was that version of myself a few times that one week, so it's not like the reasons behind the character development are a complete mystery. But I also feel like this version of me went through a lot more shit than that one did, and it just kind of pisses me off that I apparently came out worse for it.

It doesn't have to be a timeloop. Some people spend their whole lives trying to figure out how to grow and improve and put their life together, and they never ever manage. No amount of sitting there telling yourself you're going to change will make it a certainty that it happens.

[ god and that's a mood. she laughs kind of weakly. ]

Yeah. The memories from that week are blurry, but they're there. That Alex doesn't know what's ahead of her. And I remember being that stupid. I remember thinking I'd be different, and I'd be fine, and I'd keep it together so much better than anyone else.

But then I learned that I'd been wrong. And no one else did, or believes me.

[ winces... that's a hell of a cassandra situation. ]

God, that sucks. There's nothing you could tell them that would prove you'd already been through it and know what you're talking about, I guess... It's probably not as convenient as in the movies.

[ damn. he really hadn't realized she'd had to deal with all this. on top of losing her brother and everything too... it makes his own problems seem pretty pointless and stupid in comparison. (though he supposes that is part of the problem; pointless and stupid is what his whole life is written to be.) ]

It must have been really lonely.