[ well. parts of that hit close to home in a way they sure wouldn't have a few days ago. todomatsu is not an empathetic person in the first place, and the way his reality has always worked — where almost everything is for the sake of a joke, and whatever real suffering they do go through is (mostly) erased by the next episode — this kind of pain would be so far beyond him he wouldn't know how to (or want to) touch it.

it's still far beyond him — years is much different than a couple of months, for one — but he actually has a frame of reference for some of this now. which kind of sucks, because it gives the shadows of those feelings a foothold to linger afterward. ]

...Sorry.

[ for seeing that. he'd rather die than let anyone see his own raw emotions, and even if she's a much warmer and more open person than he is, he can't imagine not feeling uncomfortable with this.

... ]

You're really dying...?

[she swallows a little hard, at that. it is a little uncomfortable - if only because she doesn't know how to deal with people seeing her sad. it isn't her usual. it's like being caught doing something you're not supposed to.]

... Yeah. [she says, finally, brushing her hands off on her clothes.] Haven't got long at all, but - it's alright.

[ is it? how long is not long? before or after the two months they're supposed to have here? is that why she was so quick to volunteer herself as a sacrifice if they couldn't find the real killer that first week? doesn't that make it even more fucked up that she got assigned to the damn mortuary??? ]

Mm... [ he rubs his neck a little absently. ] I can't really imagine what that must be like.

[ having a countdown looming over your head, anyway; dying he can definitely imagine. that's got to be the worst, just waiting. ]

...It's easier not to talk about it, right?

[did you know that you're the first person to make the connection about her volunteering herself up as sacrifice, because HELP, that's exactly it. actually you just opened your third eye on both of those things

she drags in a breath.]

I don't like to. [she says, glancing at him.] But - I don't mind it, it's not like it's going to go away if I pretend it doesn't exist.

Mostly I just like to try and enjoy what I've got. Never know when it's going to be the end.

[ THE UPSIDE OF BEING FICTIONAL YOURSELF IS THAT YOU'RE GOOD AT RETROACTIVELY IDENTIFYING FORESHADOWING AND IRONY I GUESS. ]

You don't have an exact time frame, then? You just know it's soon?

[HELP YAY... I THINK...]

Dammon told me a couple weeks ago that I've got - well, a couple of weeks. [...] Might not make it out of here, honestly.

Shit.

[ ...well, he'll say it since they're going there. ]

That's why you were ready to volunteer if we couldn't find the killer before, huh?

[a beat, and then she kind of laughs, tail swaying back and forth.]

Yeah, actually. Clever of you. I figured if it had to be someone, it should be someone who didn't have any time left anyway. It's still an option, honestly, though I'd prefer to find the monsters.

[ nods... ]

Yeah, that... makes sense, at least.

[ it's pragmatic, and the part of him that wouldn't rather just vote for someone he likes less out of spite (an admittedly small part, though the spite vote options aren't as appealing now that karma's gone) can respect that. ]

...Well. All the more reason to make sure we do find the monsters.

[a little smile!!]

That a compliment? That's sweet. [she's not sure if it was necessarily but hey, she can take a bit of embarrassment.] Sorry to dump all that heavy on you, actually.

Yeah, it was.

[ little smile back! ]

It's okay. It's probably better if we know where we're all coming from anyway.

[ for situations like that especially, so they can understand the reasoning behind why someone might be willing to make a sacrifice instead of having a kneejerk reaction like they did.

...though when he says this, he has no intention of telling anyone anything about where he's coming from, actually. it may be better but he doesn't like it and he's not doing it. so! the shadows will help take care of that.


and okay this memory is truly like. peak meta gag anime and it makes the least sense out of all their weird fourthwalling stuff and i have no idea how to square it away with anything but it's also like, damn, i can't just ignore this. so. here it is. ]

[HELP ME THIS IS JUST A WHOLE LOT OF BWUH

karlach doesn't understand like half of it, but she does get some sort of sense from what she does understand, so:]

... That was your family? And they just kicked you out? [gag or no, she takes it seriously enough to sound like it makes her sad.]

[ KARLACH GIRL I DON'T UNDERSTAND HALF OF IT EITHER

like the way they do it is hilarious because he was absent from all the previous segments in the episode and they even erased him from the final shot of the opening... but also it's fucked!! and a good example of why he's so full of repressed rage all the time and doesn't handle personal attacks well!! ]

Nnnnggghh... It's... hard to explain [ and i refuse to try ] but. Yeah.

...That was temporary, they brought me back after that replacement went back to Florida.

[ and then he went crazy and shot up the house but he's going to gloss over that because they're anime characters and it doesn't matter!! they're fine now!! ]

[she shifts, and moves over to settle next to him, putting a hand on his arm.]

Doesn't matter if it was temporary. That had to hurt, being replaced like it was nothing. [maybe it was a weird tv show thing but she's trying her best with this. her tail does little flicks.]

I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that.

Well... yeah. It definitely kinda sucked.

[ like. a lot. he never wants to eat a frog again. it just doesn't seem so bad in the grand scheme of things now, because it was a one-episode joke and it was never acknowledged again.

what he's been dealing with since coming here is a lot more troubling because he can't be sure that everything will be fine at the end of this. he's been keeping his shit together by treating this as another work of fiction in his head, at least to some extent. but they're on what should be the third episode now and there haven't been any resets.

the warm hand is kind of nice in the face of that uncertainty, though. he exhales, and she can feel some of the tension leave his shoulders. ]

Thanks.