Were you just like, that out of it that you don't even really remember what happened?
[ he could see doing the opposite of the proper protocol to divert suspicion from himself, but it doesn't seem like he really wanted to get away with it... ]
[there is a long, contemplative silence. his weird reliver emotions come up again, a swirl of confusion and sparks frustration. he is trying to answer the question.]
... It made sense to me at the time.
But I am aware, more than anyone else, that such a statement makes me sound like a fool.